


Don't Call Me That, I Hate It When You Call Me That

by Cirquie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bad Dreams, Big Brother Anakin, Brother-Sister Relationships, Ezra Bridger mentioned, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, In the end, Little Sister Ahsoka, Nightmares, Sabine Wren - Freeform, Somewhat happiness, if you want some ezra, like once, not in here, same as ezra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirquie/pseuds/Cirquie
Summary: He was the teacher, she admired.He was the friend, she laughed with.He was the brother, she loved.And he was the monster that hunted her nightmares(Esentially, this short oneshot is about how you miss the big things, but it is the small once that won't give you rest.)
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Kudos: 52





	Don't Call Me That, I Hate It When You Call Me That

**Author's Note:**

> Today I got the mood to post some of my works online. FINALLY.  
> Took a long time and this is just a one shot, but hey, gotta start somehow, right?  
> Also, read only if you have the mood for pain and a happy smile through the tears at the end.  
> I really like to torture myself and the readers with what I write. Just thought you'd like a warning.  
> I also have this written and will be editting as I go, so please forgive me if there are some bugs. I might take a look at it later.

It has been almost half an hour since they were on the same ship and the whole time she was in his presence... he haven't called her Snips once.

Somehow she had hoped, he wouldn't hesitate. She remembered, perhaps too well, that one time she told him, she hates it, but she didn't mean it, not really. He must have known that, right? After all, he had called her that so many times afterwards. Was she so strict becasue of their lack of time that he didn't dare?

Perhaps... perhaps if she called him Skyguy again. He pretended to hate that nickname but he couldn't fool her. Every time he heard it, she felt his presence warm up, no matter what.

Maybe it was the way they said goodbye. She left him on his own after all. He still had Padmé and Obi-Wan, but Padmé wasn't with him in the order and within the temple walls, and Obi-Wan already showed that if he had to pick, he would put the Council's orders before both of them.

Her heart ache, she lingered to the hope to hear her nickname come slip from his lips again. The whole time, no matter what they were talking about, it was still in the back of her mind, bugging her, not letting go. Hearing it, she always knew she is safe. Maybe she was being ridiculous. She was different now, older, more experienced, more relying on herself. And yet...

She tried to form his nickname in her mouth, hoping he would repay it, but... "Anakin," she called. She was leaving him again and the situation was too serious. She couldn't gather the courage. It was strange, it used to be a second nature to her. She breathed in to try again. "Good luck," was all she managed.

When she would come back with Maul, it would be the right time. She would have her big brother back then.

* * *

"Ahsoka." It felt wrong. The mask, muffling his voice into something machine-like. But the tone, the enunciation... that had been her final proof that it was actually him.

"Ahsoka," he repeated, the mask failing a little now and letting his real voice be heard.

"You will die."

Ahsoka jerked awake. It's been two months since she met him, but the nighmares were getting worse and worse.

Sometimes it was just Anakin with a heartbroken expression as they were standing in front of the temple just before she left. She watched her younger self from aside yelling at herself to not leave, no matter how much she needs it because he needs her more but it never happened. Young Ahsoka turned and the real one looked at her friend and saw how the light from the setting sun turned his irises from crystal blue to burning yellow. Then she heard screams of pain from the temple and then the nightmare was over.

Another times, she saw him from behind. She ran towards him, calling his name, but then he turned, his eyes glowing yellow and he was covered in blood. When she looked around, there they were. Every jedi she ever knew, met or just saw, cut in half. His voice was low. "You could've prevented this, Ahsoka. You know that. You know you could." She was too stunned to move as his lightsaber swung towards her and then she would wake up.

And the most common, where she was surrounded by complete darkness with the sound of his mask echoing all around her.

But every single time, there was something in the air. She felt it the same way she could feel a storm coming. It was as if the nickname he gave her was hanging above her, ready to drop like a whip.

She missed it. She missed the way his eyes lit up with mischief when he teased her with it. She missed the way he rolled them, annoyed, yet couldn't supress the grin when she called him by the one she had for him..

When she met Vader, she realized that perhaps there was no way, staying in the order would prevent it, but that didn't mean, she was able to stop her mind from going through everything she might have done differently... and better.

* * *

Ahsoka was meditating. There wasn't much on this planet but she and Sabine had hoped it was a way to Ezra.

Suddenly, the Force shifted around her. It was gentle, like a summer breeze. For some reason it made her remember what might have been the happiest time of her life, paradoxycally the time of the Clone War. But it was simply the time she had the most things, and people especially, that made her happy. Master Plo and Obi-Wan and Bariss. She knew she could forgive them all, for the chance of seeing them again, yes, she would just love to see them. And then Padmé and her battalion, she missed them with her whole heart. And of course Rex and...

"Happy birthday, Snips."

Anakin.

Her eyes opened in shock, and there he was. Right in front of her as if he hadn't aged a day since she last saw him before Mandalore, before everything, grinning like the dumbass he used to be.

"Anakin?" she whispered. "I thought... Aren't you..."

"Dead? Yes, I am, don't worry."

Tears burst in her eyes. He said it so casually as if she was supposed to find calm within the thought of him being dead. "But how are you..."

"Long story," he said. Then he tilted his head in thought. "Long story short - Obi-Wan cannot stop lecturing me even when we're both dead." He smiled a little like there was a private joke to it. "I should've seen that coming."

Her mind was still stuck at the reality that he was in front of her. "But what are you doing here? And... why now?"

"Partially because I wanted to wish you happy birthday, which seems like a good reason for both, don't you think?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "That's the reason?!" she almost yelled. "It's been _months_ since-" Her voice trailed off, thinking about his death. "And you show up _now_ _?!_ " she managed finally.

He looked ashamed to the ground. "Well, I've been a little occupied at first, I started looking for you some time ago though, but it wasn't so easy, you know." His voice grew tense, when he glanced back up at her, as if his throat tightened. "You _did_ grow a habbit of hiding yourself from me. That is, quite succesfully, which, as inconvenient as it seems now, I am glad for." He was looking at her anxiously, waiting for a reaction. When none came, he continued, forcing himself to use casual tone again. "Anyway, I thought you might appreciate some help with finding that kid."

"You know where Ezra is?" she jolted with hope.

"Not exactly," he admitted slowly, "but I do have some leads."

Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest, settling herself in a known situation, almost happy with the feeling of being the student again. She cocked her brows at him in anticipation. "So? What are you waiting for? Spill it, Skyguy."

"All right, snippy as always, I see." It was just as she remembered it - mocking anger, but honest grin.

He was gone for a long time but now, though dead, her brother was back.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about this when I was watching them say goodbye in season 7, because they didn't hug and they didn't call each other Snips/Skyguy and it was SO SAD!
> 
> Fun ride, wasn't it?  
> Thanks for sticking to the end (though it was short)


End file.
